Sue Ellen, Sue Ellen, a psycho by any other name is still a psycho. What were you thinking all these years? What motivated you to have such compulsive destructive behavior? Come on, I refuse to believe that all the blame rests squarely on the shoulders of your husband, J.R. Ewing.

Sure, the man wasn't perfect, but take some responsibility for yourself.

In 1979, you started sleeping with the enemy of your husband, became pregnant, and started a drinking binge. Isn't that correct? So, your husband had you locked up in the sanitarium, but that didn't seem to help. You got wasted in the hospital, pulled off an escape job, and proceeded to have an alcohol-related driving accident. Almost killed yourself and the baby. But fortunately, both of you survived.

In 1981, you started another affair with a rodeo cowboy named Dusty. Ah, yes, the whole world knew that couldn't last, and you started drinking again. Then came your first divorce with J.R., and that solved nothing. You started sleeping with Cliff again, but in 1982 re-married who? Of course we want you to say the name. Say it, Say it now!!!

Sue Ellen, I'm seeing here that you began another romantic affair in 1983 with a college student named Peter Richards. What a catch he must've been!! So, tell me about it. Rumor has it, your husband had him busted for drugs and ran him out of Dallas. How much of that is true?

Wow, will you look at the time, Sue Ellen? To speed things up, you divorced J. R. again in 1988 and after that began a relationship with a screenwriter. And the two of you moved to London?

Yeah, and it all makes perfect sense that you would return in a dream of J.R. as a successful actress, and married to some other man who was killed in 1986. How did you do that one? Long story short, Sue Ellen Ewing, you are a complete wacko.